Elin, You’re So Much Prettier Than Any of Tiger’s Mistresses!

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March 11th, 2010

Elin, You’re So Much Prettier Than Any of Tiger’s Mistresses!

HollywoodLife.com got to judge three of Tiger’s mistresses ourselves – but we want to know what you think!

When it comes to evaluating the beatuy of Tiger Woods’s women, his wife, Elin Nordegren, is the obvious winner! Still, Elin wasn’t around to take part in the Tiger Woods Mistress Beauty Pageant in NYC March 10 – she we had to settle for giving our thoughts on Jamie Jungers, Loredana Jolie, and Jaimee Grubbs as they competed for $75,000 dollars (sponsored by AshleyMadison.com). The result — in no way, shape, or form do these ladies compare to Elin! Duh squared.

Of the three merry mistresses, we thought Jamie J., 27, was the prettiest and most sincere (due in part to the fact that she seemed genuinely heartbroken when Tiger left her). The judges agreed and named her the winner based on beauty, personality, and her sad story.

Jamie – aka Mistress #4 – dated Tiger for 18 months, and said that when she met him she “literally jumped on the opportunity” to be with him. After one night in the sack with the golf pro, she admitted to falling in love with him even though she knew he was married and that she “didn’t think [she] was the only one” Tiger was seeing.

We thought the second place winner, former Tool Academy contestant Jaimee, 24, seemed way too arrogant, which made her unattractive. Jaimee ‘dated’ Tiger for 2.5 years, but never knew he was married and “thought [she] was the only” seeing Tiger (broken freakin’ record, right?) She seemed to think the length of their affair made her special, and during the pageant kept making sly jabs to rub it in the other mistresses’ faces.

We don’t have much to say about the 3rd place contestant, Lordena, 26. She seemed a bit blah and her looks … no comment! Her Tiger tale definitely put in her third place as well. She met Tiger through a match-making service, slept with him for about two years and confessed their affair was only about sex (And here we thought they were having a ‘bad romance’)! “I just assumed [he was sleeping around]. He was cheating on his wife. Once a cheater, always a cheater,” she acknowledged.

Fair play, Lordena. Why didn’t you win again? At least you called a spade a spade!

Note to Elin — all three mistresses agreed that there’s something wrong with your man — and we agree. How COULD he cheat on you – especially given that you’re the most beautiful, inside and out, of all his women?

- Lindsey DiMattina