2 CommentsBY 7.26 PM EST 09.07.2010

KIRSTIN SAYS: Seriously, Heidi? Quit Telling Us About Massaging Your Own Boobs!

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Heidi Montag is turning into the guy she divorced — she tweeted about giving herself a rub down to keep her implants soft…TMI, much?

Heidi Montag is out to make headlines again — and look, it worked! This time the plastic blond took to Twitter to discuss her recently implanted bodacious tatas and their pliability.

“Giving my self a soft tissue breast massage,” the 23-year-old recently divorced reality star tweeted Sept. 7. “Ladies, we have to keep those implants soft.”

Not this lady, thank you very much.

Although Heidi’s personal massage sounds funky, I checked with Dr. Marcel Danielsa plastic surgeon based in Long Beach, Calif. — who told me there’s actually something to moving your breast implants around…but it’s not to keep them soft, like Heidi described.

“The theory behind massaging augmented breasts is that you are attempting to keep the scar capsule that forms around the implant from becoming tight around the implant, which would make the implant feel hard,” he explained to me. “The actual implant doesn’t get hard, it is just the tightening of the scar tissue around it that makes it feel hard.”

However, Heidi better be careful — only certain fake boobs need massaging.

“The kicker here is that if the patient has textured (‘rough shell’) implants, you probably don’t want to massage them because they need interaction with soft tissue to work,” Dr. Daniels said. “This would be especially true with a textured teardrop implant…the last thing [anyone] would want would be for it to rotate!”

Gross! Nevertheless, we’ll be sure to keep you “abreast” of all other Heidi news!

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mimi tholsted

Posted at 12:05 PM on October 22, 2010  

…..can we stop mention her melons!

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R G Miller

Posted at 8:28 PM on September 7, 2010  

At least she ought to float until the coast guard can rescue her if her boat sinks.

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