Susan (Teri Hatcher) got a kidney this week… and a stalker! She bumped into an old ‘friend’ from high school, Monroe, who suspiciously decided to donate his kidney to her cause. As it turned out, this ‘friend’ has been carrying a torch for Susan — and a scrapbook full of pictures of Susan, often taken from afar — since they were teenagers. In the end, she told him she’s married and he backed off… but are we really supposed to believe the cray man won’t go all crazy? I smell a season finale shooting in the works.
In sad relationship news, Bree (Marcia Cross) finally came clean to Keith (Brian Austin Green) about the son he didn’t know he had. And in sad storytelling news, we didn’t even get to see him really react to the information, as his shock was delivered through one of the show’s trademark montages. Grr…
Elsewhere, Lynette’s (Felicity Huffman) new step-daddy Frank dropped dead while posing in the most awkward family portrait ever. But since Frank was a total d-bag — and filthy rich — no one really seemed to care. In fact, Lynette even used Frank’s corpse as a puppet to scare Tom (Doug Savant), who let out a fantastically girlish shriek. Lynette’s mom, now a millionaire, lavished her family with gifts and became a bitter old miser literally overnight.
And finally, Gabby (Eva Longoria) managed to remain selfish and semi-psychotic this week, skipping out on therapy in favor of trips to the spa. It was later revealed that Gabby still has a ton of baggage left over from her childhood, hence the infatuation with the Grace doll. I honestly didn’t feel too invested in Gabby this week — I’m just bummed Carlos (Ricardo Chavira) grew back his beard. The clean-shaven look really worked for him.