Well, she misses those TV ratings!

Kate Gosselin‘s solo TLC show is struggling and she can’t help but miss her ex partner-in-crime Jon Gosselin — and all that wonderful drama. Friends say the single mother of eight, 36, is lost without him (professionally and personally) and that she’s struggling without the special love-hate relationship that once was Jon & Kate – Plus 8! Can you believe this!?

“He was her whipping boy,” explains a long-time family acquaintance to Ok! Magazine, “but he was also her best friend. Yes, things were toxic between them, but there was at least some sort of camaraderie.”

Now, Jon, 33, is living his life out of the spotlight with his girlfriend Ellen Ross—he works as a construction worker in his Pennsylvania hometown. And while he is happy with his current situation, Kate is struggling to keep an audience for Kate Plus 8, which has posted disappointing numbers. People definitely miss the Gosselin spats, whether they be over the kids, household chores, or babysitters.

“His departure has made the show less interesting to people and left a very real hole in her life,” adds the insider. “She pretends to be made of steel, but underneath it, she is very sensitive.”

And Kate’s longing for Jon isn’t just about the money…honest. “A lot of the time, she has felt like the whole world hates her,” the source explains. “At least when Jon was there, she had someone to laugh about it all with. Sure, she has friends, but none of them can understand how it feels to bear the brunt of so much criticism.”

And the insider adds, “she can’t help but remember how good it once was between them.” Not to mention those awesome TV ratings…

–Leigh Blickley